12 HOUR SELF-PORTRAIT

12 Hour Self-Portrait

Honest. Mundane. Monotonous. Rebellious.

At its conception, the performance-art nature of the 12-Hour Self-Portrait was intended as a progressive study of the face throughout the day; documenting the subtle differences in eyes, skin, and expression as I grew more fatigued. As the work unfolded, however, it revealed a form of rebellion against my earlier career chapters as a commissioned beauty photographer that thrived on highly curated, controlled, and societally pleasing portraits. Pretty portraits.

For twelve anti-climactic hours from 8am to 8pm, an image was captured every 30 minutes from the same position.

In order to prevent the subconscious urge to pose myself or create a more flattering facial expression, I set the camera’s timer 2-3 minutes in advance and stood in place, uncertain of exactly when the capture would occur. Mirrors and reflective surfaces were covered or removed, and makeup was prohibited.

The decision was made to forego professional studio lighting, allowing for the sunlight to filter in and out of a small skylight as the day progressed . Supplemented by two small bedside lamps for focusing purposes, the control of the lighting was the area in which I was most resistant to surrender. My experience has taught me, after all, that bad light = “unflattering” portraits.

Brief journal entries were noted after each shot, some revealing that I was, for example, eating chocolate when the camera fired at one point, or that the sound of the church bells began right as another was taken. Comparing the written passages to the captured portraits, subtleties in facial expression are sometimes indicative of what I was thinking or experiencing in the moment…other times they simply show the progression of my exhaustion as intended.

The sequence of images in the 12-Hour Self-Portrait remain completely un-retouched; a final act of rebellion against my earlier career practices. In fact, my professional tool kit was utterly untapped for this project, making it comically ironic that I spent 15 years perfecting posing, lighting, and technical prowess before having the confidence to exhibit my photography.

This project demanded that I abandon my own expectations, as well as those placed on women by society to represent themselves a certain way.

Everything about the process and the finished work makes me uncomfortable. The important question that I've begun to answer for myself through this work is "Why is that?".

Exhibited: Art Philein Foundation in Lugano, Switzerland

January 20-21, 2023 Curated by Mustafa Sabbagh alongside Veronica Barbato, Marie-Josè D’Aprile, Vittoria Fragapane, Alfonsina Sica, Mattia Zonforlin.

Previous
Previous

TWO BLANK EYES