A RELAXED WOMAN
“Growing up, I never knew a relaxed woman.
Successful women? Yes.
Productive women? Plenty.
Anxious and afraid and apologetic women? Heaps of them.
But relaxed women? At-ease women? Women who don't dissect their days into half hour slots of productivity? Women who prioritize rest and pleasure and play? Women who aren't afraid to take up space in the world? Women who give themselves unconditional permission to relax? Without guilt? Without apology? Without feeling like they need to earn it?
I'm not sure I've ever met a woman like that. But I would like to become one. I would like us all to become one.
When I photographed S for the second time, it was just what she needed it to be. It was what I needed it to be. Having been several years and seemingly another lifetime ago, we’ve both evolved since our last shoot together.
A photographer herself, she is no stranger to the process of a photoshoot nor is she unfamiliar with the usual sentiments proclaimed by clients who are about to be in a state of undress in front of our cameras. Like most things, though, when something is happening to us, it’s easier said than done. I’m proud of S for walking the walk.
When she offered feedback on her session (in full below), she essentially started by saying that she couldn’t believe “RELAXED” and “NUDE” could coexist.
That made me think of this piece by Nicola Jane Hobbs that I haven’t been able to stop thinking of since I read it last year.
How true. Relaxed women are scarce. But so many of us aspire to be one.
Imagine a world in which we feel completely free and at peace with ourselves 100% of the time. Of course, it will never happen 100% of the time if it isn’t first happening 10% of the time. It’s a journey and a practice.
For me, a notatallrelaxed woman by nature who is desperate for this kind of calm all the time, I have begun in recent years to pay close attention to the things that make relaxation difficult, and I have been actively working to eradicate those things, or at the very least change my mindset on them. I got myself to a relaxed state 10% of the time.
During this relaxed state, I was the most free, the most myself, the most….well…just the most. Instantly addicted to that state I soon enjoyed my relaxed self 15% of the time. If I’m being fully transparent, I can’t confidently say that I’m creeping up on 20% yet, but it’s coming. Then 50%….baby steps.
So for S to be able to feel at ease whilst nude with a camera on her…to be able to revel in that relaxation in her own skin and nothing else…what a beautiful thing. Facilitating that mini-awakening for her and the rest of my clients is a role that I don’t take lightly.
The photos are glorious, but the feelings evoked throughout the experience are far more important.
“How is it possible to feel so relaxed and at ease while being photographed totally nude? If you had told me that’s what I would be doing- casually chatting about life fully naked…I wouldn’t have believed you. But that’s exactly what happened and THAT was probably the biggest gift this photoshoot gave me. The beautiful photos, those are the cherries on top. Photographers often preach that it’s so much easier [to be photographed] than you think it’s going to be, that the time will fly, etc etc and while I know in my mind that it’s true, it’s completely different FEELING that truth and walking that walk. When you trust your photographer, the rewards are endless, not just in the final product, but in the freedom the experience offers you. So thank you for instilling that trust, making it so easy and fun and of course, for the stunning photos that reveal a relaxed woman comfortable in her skin. I’ve been carrying that sense of quiet, relaxed confidence with me since our shoot, and what better gift is there than that?! Thank you again! You are a treasure!” -S, 2024 client
I’m working to spread the “epidemic” of confident women one photo shoot at a time and I’m here when you’re ready.